rubble and dust
by malignon
Summary: umm... sorry, i suck at summaries. but if you like angst and fics with lots of in depth character... uh... whatever you call that, well this is the fic to read! :D welcomewelcome! right this way please! XD Lol
1. prologue

PROLOGUE

Donatello's head was reeling from the impact with the mountain of debris, but he knew he had to help his brothers fight against Drako. With a whirl from his bostaff, he jumped up ignoring the throbbing pain behind his eyes.

"huh?!" he exclaimed, eyes behind a purple ninja mask wide open. The lair was in ruins, debris scattered all over the place. "Master Splinter?" his heart skipping a beat as he looked around. Was he out the whole time they were attacked? Where's his family? "Master Splinter? Leo, Raph, Mikey?!"

"what the shell happened here?" he thought out loud to himself, his voice echoing off the dusty stone walls. He went around the lair picking through chunks of cement that was once a wall, trying to find a clue as to what had happened. Judging from the amount of dust accumulated on the debris, he figured that it's definitely been a while since the lair was attacked or anyone has been around for that matter. Around 10 or 20 years he guessed.

"but that just doesn't make any sense… we were fighting Drako just a while ago…" he said to himself as he maneuvered around the wreckage, looking for a safe exit. It wouldn't do to just stay here underground. He had to go topside and see what was going on up there. With this kind of destruction wrought underground, he doubted that anybody wouldn't have noticed up there. There was definitely damage done topside, of that he was sure. He also had to go and check on April and Casey. He had a bad feeling about all this, a chill running up his spine.

He finally gotten past much of the rubble and started on a path that looked pretty promising. A lump was forming in his throat and tears threatened to fall from his eyes as he thought about what might have become of his family, but he shook his head and took a deep breath as the darkness of the sewer tunnels took him.

--------------------

In a narrow and dark alleyway, everything was silent. So deafeningly silent, that the soft scraping of cement against the metal manhole cover seemed almost as loud as that of an ambulance' siren. A small green head slowly surfaced from that dark hole and just as slowly took in his surroundings. Seeing no danger, he slipped out quickly into the shadows. Don had just been at April and Casey's apartment, which had been all but obliterated. Nothing but rubble was left in the wake of the place that their friends had once called home. Deeply troubled by this, he decided to go and check out the warehouse.

As he slid out of his current position to another alleyway across the street, he briefly saw the devastation wrought upon his home, 'new york'. It was horrible, no building was left whole and the roads were… By the looks of it, something just ripped the street into half. The thought of what may have made that kind of damage, is just frightening.

One look up at the sky reminded Don why he had decided earlier to not go by way of rooftop to his destination as several conspicuous aircrafts flew over head.

Suddenly, Karai's voice blared out from somewhere,

"_**attention servants of the shredder, you're lord and master will now address you,"**_

"karai?" Don gasped. "What the shell?" he whispered under his breath as he stood still tense, scared.

"_**For those of you still living under the illusion that you will have freedom. Know this, my armies have exterminated the last pockets of resistance and I now control the entire planet…"**_

As the announcement went on above him, Don could only slide down to the floor, his shell roughly scraping at the wall of the building he had his back to. He knew that voice. He knew that voice just a bit too well.

"…_**There is no hope, there is only the shredder."**_

"the shredder…" Don sputtered out in disbelief. This wasn't happening. It just can't be true. From the sound of it, it almost seemed that, the shredder had finally… won.

---------------------

Shaking his head at that, the very thought of it making Don shiver. That just can't be. How was it possible that the shredder had won. His family wouldn't have allowed that to happen.

'_Master Splinter…'_ he remembered his missing family. Where were they?

Leaving all worries about the shredder behind for a while, he continued on his way to the warehouse. He was pretty sure that they'd be there _'if they were still alive that is,'_ he thought grimly with a grimace. No, he wouldn't think that. He didn't want to think that unless he had proof. Real, viable evidence that his family was six feet under. so to speak.

Watching out for danger, he looked around only to find this street the same as the past several blocks. It was completely devoid of all people, or any sign of life at all. It just wasn't right, especially since this was new york. A city that never sleeps.

Sprinting the last stretch of road, he quickly dodged a search light from a helicopter flying nearby. He leapt behind a particularly large mound of rubble as his heart throbbed in his chest hard, seemingly threatening to pop out of his plastron. He shut his eyes for several seconds, trying to calm his shaking breath.

A cool breeze caressed his face and neck, drenched in sweat. 'I should be right by the warehouse,' he thought to himself. And as he opened his eyes, sure enough, the warehouse was but a good 10 meters away. Letting out one last shaky breath, he shifted his eyes up to the dark skies keeping a look out for those aircrafts, and then to his destination. He began to smile at this, it still seemed to be whole, a bit battered but still very much whole.

Keeping to the shadows and flitting from one place to another with much more ease compared to before. Relief poured into his very being with the thought of someplace familiar and safe in all this mess. With a soft creak, he opened the side door. He couldn't help but gasp at the wreckage he found.

It was way worse off than the lair had been. One side of the roof had completely fallen in and the wall adjacent it had a large gaping hole right through it that was just threatening to cave in as well. (he couldn't see these from his earlier hiding spot. XD sorry! Too lazy to write that part)

He didn't even bother to check the place as thoroughly as he did the lair as it was obviously just beyond salvaging, but he consciously noted that the tunneller still seemed functional. Confused and upset, he took in his surroundings for one last time before stepping through the hole. "none of this makes any sense…" don said with a shake of his head. Suddenly, a sound of a helicopter caught him by surprise. His heart skipped a beat as it's searchlight shone upon him, revealing him to all present.

"_**attention citizen, place your hands in the air and drop your weapons. Repeat, hands up and drop your weapons." **_rang out amidst the cacophony of the helicopter's noise and the sound of cocking guns

As several men in black came closer, don's breath started to hitch and panic filled his head. 'I've been seen… I've been seen!' he thought as he looked around him. He could see nothing but the dark men's silhouette's, making the image of the men closing in on him even worse. Like some dark entity, their guns like teeth bared, shining in the bright light. 'man, leo's gonna kill me…' he thought with a groan.

one man broke out of the dark mass and approached him, breaking the images his over imaginative delusional mind was trying to show him. Spotting a familiar symbol on the man's left forearm, don gritted his teeth. This was it, the proof. How it was possible for the shredder to have had taken over his beloved city, his beloved planet was just unfathomable. It was frightening.

"the shredder…" he said under his breath with as much malice and hate laced in it as he could. He didn't know how this situation came to be, but as long as he still had life in this body of his, he would fight. And with that he drew out his bostaff strapped upon his back. He wouldn't allow the shredder to prevail. He would fight.

With a growl, he readied himself to leap up and unleash hell upon his attackers. Suddenly, three ninja stars flew out of nowhere and landed just before the shredder henchman's feet. The masked man looked up and quickly gave out instructions to get a light on the culprit up on the roof. Don stared in wonder and fear at the new figure. Who WAS this guy? He was just so agile and well… good. He could do nothing but stand there, lightly grasping his bostaff in his hands as the figure quickly dispatched of the whole troop single handedly.

In the dark, don could only catch glimpses of this guy's features. He seemed familiar somehow but don couldn't quite place how. Realization finally dawned on him at the whip of a nunchuck at an offender.

"mikey?" he managed to whisper with wide eyes as Mikey fired at the chopper relentlessly with one of the foot's guns. With a loud boom as the aircraft exploded upon a building two blocks away, mikey let go of the gun he held in his hand.

Shoving his bostaff back into its place, don ran over to mikey. He couldn't hold back the excitement in his voice as he said, "mikey, am I glad to see you!"

And he really was. Finally! A familiar face in all this mess, in this nightmare…

"so… it's really you…" said mikey. After a moment, he stepped into the light and said, "you came back."

Don held back a gasp as he saw his youngest brother. Scars of all severity littered his aged body. His eyes flitting all over mikey's wounds before finally settling over the spot that would have been where his arm was. "mikey… your arm!" don exclaimed, his heart, feeling as though it was being wrenched out by the shredder himself. "what happened to your arm?!"

With a heated glare, mikey replied, "you're the one that's got some questions to answer," pointing a finger at don accusingly.

"where the shell have you been all these years?!" he asked with a hardness that don's never heard in his brother's voice before. don cringed at that. Where has his jolly, happy-go-lucky brother gone? 'what's happened to you?' he almost voiced out but then mikey's statement confused him even further. It just really didn't make any sense.

"all these years?" don asked, confusion evident in his voice.

"you've been gone for 30 year donatello…"

"30 years?" don said with incredulity. "it can't be?!"

"can be and it is." Mikey replied with a tone of finality in his voice.

"we thought you were dead," he added softly, almost like an afterthought. "how the shell could you just abandon us like that?!" he screamed at don after a moment, chest heaving.

"I didn't…" don said quietly, face slightly withdrawn. "I'd never abandon you guys…" he said looking away. He was just so very confused. "one minute we were all in the lair together, the next minute… I woke up here."

" I don't know how…" don said, looking up into mikey's eyes searchingly as if he held the answer to his unspoken question.

"so," mikey started with a sneer, "the turtle with the big brain finally doesn't have all the answers."

Don hung his head. He didn't know what to say. The silence between them was so thick. Mikey's pain seemed to roll off in waves and don didn't know what to do or say.

"who woulda thunk it." Mikey said at last. Whatever pain that was reflecte in his eyes earlier was gone now as he slid back into the shadows saying, "but we can't talk here." Starting out of a small hole in the wall. "come on." He said with a final glare at don. With a silent nod, he gulped back the lump that was forming in his throat and set out the same hole to follow mikey.

--------------------

whew...

ok!

mmm, i... dont really like this chapter. i really REALLY suck at starting stories. so i do hope you forgive me for putting this crap up. honestly, this is all just to practice my english because coming here to japan really messed it up. haha! but then, as i thought about how the story would go, the plot became really interesting :D still, even though this WAS just an english exercise thing, i didnt really bother with the small details like capital letters, periods... etc. haha! the heck?! XD

anyway, i hope you all TRY to stick with me to the end on this, because i really AM planning to complete this fic, which... i have never done before!hahaha! well...

Thank you so very much for reading!

Review please! And… no flames if you can help it! thank you!

Constructive criticism is very much welcomed though. J


	2. Chapter 1

1ST CHAPTER

With Mikey there to guide him through this … demented parody of his beloved city, "new york", he felt less scared and nervous. Mikey even reassured him that it was safe to go by rooftop. Still, he warned Don with a strange ferocity to stay close and be quiet.

As they came upon a vent, steam pouring out of it, mikey knelt down to remove the metal bars covering it. Don took this time to contemplate on what he had just seen. Up on the rooftops, he clearly saw the extent of the damage wrought by the shredder. Thousands of dark aircrafts flew overhead in seemingly endless neat rows and groups. Down below, soldiers clad in black complete with heavy artillery and armor moved about on the streets. Don found it a bit odd as to why they were so heavily armed when there was not even a single civilian or any other life form for that matter other than the foot roaming around. Truly, this city that was once so busy and alive, looked dead and gray. Once familiar spots around the city, like that one corner where this old guy sold Mikey's favorite hotdogs, were now just cement and gravel. All gray and dust. Dead.

'even the skies are gray…' Don whispered to himself as he stared at the sky. Don brought back his attention to his brother who was just about to jump into the steaming hole.

"where are we going mikey?" he asked.

"I'm taking you to master splinter." Mikey replied, eye ridges furrowing even further and eyes taking on an even sharper edge tinged with pain. But all this went unnoticed by Don as a single word rang out in his mind…

'alive!' He couldn't help but grin. "he's still alive! Thank god!" he said aloud.

Mikey looked at him oddly at this and looked like he was about to say something but stopped himself. he let out a single breath and said, "look… we should get going." And with that mikey dropped into the hole.

"hurry up." Mikey's voice echoed up the dark shaft.

"mikey?" don asked uncertainly as he stared after his brother before following him into the dark abyss.

Not knowing how long that dark shaft was or where he was going, falling down that vent felt longer and more taxing than it would have been. it being pitch dark didn't help matters at all either. So as Don reached the ground below, his knees buckled out of surprise more than anything, and promptly toppled over onto his shell. Quickly picking himself up off the ground, he looked about for his brother.

Seeing mikey's shell as he turned left around a corner, he ran fast to catch up to his little brother. "hey mikey! Wait up!"

Mikey looked over his shoulder to see Don running up to him. For a moment there, he felt like time stopped. Seeing his brother, Donny, right there. Young. unscarred. It felt odd. like he was some figment of his imagination. A long forgotten memory that once again sought to haunt him. His brother being there, just seemed so… unreal.

"so… are leo and raph with master splinter?" don asked mikey, but mikey simply turned his back on him and kept on walking. It hurt to see his youngest brother, be so cold and indifferent like this to him. "are they… alright?" he persisted. Even if they WERE alive, he had to know. Were they alright? After all, Don was their medic, and as far as he knew, his brothers don't know a thing about dressing a wound and such. Which may explain why mikey now had a stump for an arm. "and your arm? What happened mikey?" he asked again with more urgency and a hint of hysteria.

"mikey?" Don once again asked as he reached out to grasp his brother's arm. Still feeling like he was in a dream, that single touch brought Mikey back down to reality like a slap in the face.

Mikey flinched out of don's grasp as though it burned his skin. "don't touch me… _donny._" He said, spitting out don's name like it had an unpleasant taste to it.

"i… mikey…?" don asked quietly as mikey turned his back to him. With sad eyes, he looked on at his brother's retreating figure. As much as it hurt to see his brother this way, he can somewhat understand why he was feeling this way. From what mikey said earlier, it seems that he thinks he'd been missing for over 30 years. That's a very long time. 'I don't get any of this…the only possibilities I can think of is that, I was sent into a different dimension or a different timezone. Quite possible actually, considering that Drako used the Daimyo's septer.' Don wrinkled his nose at that. why do they always get mixed up with these kinds of messes?

'whatever the case, he's still my brother. And right now, I'm really worried about him.' Don thought as he continued looking on. 'and the rest of my family as well… where are they…?' he thought as his brow furrowed. And with that Don soon followed Mikey through the long dark tunnels in silence.

With his peripheral vision, Mikey stole small glances at his brother. He felt bad saying what he said earlier, but that doesn't mean that he didn't mean it. After all, meeting your brother who for 30 years you've thought was dead may just be a bit … TOO awkward. But still, after all this time thinking that, here he is. Back from wherever the heck he went. And here HE was, being mean and ignoring him. What a great brother he was. Then again, Don hadn't been a great brother himself has he. 'it would've been better if he didn't come back.' Mikey thought, instantly regretting actually thinking such a thing.

Mikey clenched his jaw and balled up his fists as he turned around to face his brother, fully intending to scream his guts out at Don. But stopped as he saw his brother's face full of concern and love that only a brother could exude. Only his Don, his brother could exude. Don… where did you go…

"mike… what happened bro?" don once again asked.

Why did you go, don?

"are you alright?"

Why.

Why?

"Mikey?"

FLASHBACK

With wide eyes, mikey stared into the blazing TV screen. Simply staring, not really seeing. Curled up on that couch, it was so easy to just slip out of this very harsh and cruel reality. In the darkness, the screen seemed to grow as Mikey continued to stare into it. It's been five years since Don had disappeared. They've searched the whole city for their brother, but to no avail. He just wasn't there. No trace of his brother at all. Not even their enemies knew about his whereabouts.

It was so silent in that lair. Mikey didn't like it. He fidgeted on the couch and shifted into a different position, the springs underneath groaning in protest. He missed the sounds of life in the lair back then. The soft tinkling of porcelain as Master Splinter sets down a set of five cups of tea, Raph punching away at his punching bag muttering obscene words at the inanimate object, the soft whistling of Leo's swords as he slashes down an invisible enemy, Mikey's own exuberant yells as he completes yet another level on his gameguy, and Don…. He won't even go there. It was too painful.

He sighed as he remembered 'the good old days'. No matter how hard he tried to keep them together, his family was drifting apart.

Raph was rarely home now, actually, neither was leo. It's more of like a cat and mouse chase really. Raph goes topside to bash in some punk's skulls and Leo goes after him to bring him back home safe and sound, through whatever means necessary. This usually meant Leo beating the shell out of his vigilante brother.

But it's not like Leo was any better than his younger brother. He was just as restless. One could assess that much, with the unhealthy amount of practice he puts himself through in a day. His big brother complex just went from bad to worse as he frets over every mistake made and every injury acquired. The training sessions and practices have become even more intense and with the new rules he set up, he practically banned them from leaving the lair, what more going topside. Not that Mikey blames him.

In the five years that Don was gone, Shredder's forces have grown stronger and stronger. Disabled by their loss, the turtles haven't been successful as of late with thwarting any of the shredder's plans. They never realized just how much they depended on Don to get through a mission. They were a team, and they've been a team all they're lives, a family. They acted as one body, and every one of them had a function in that body. Losing one part makes the whole vulnerable and cripples that perfect team that they were. It just wasn't right.

If Don was the brain, then Raphwould definitely be the (), Leo the soul, and Mikey, the heart.

Mikey frowned at his train of thought. 'the heart huh?'

'a broken heart maybe…' he thought to himself as he closed his eyes. It was getting tiresome, he had to admit. Day in, day out, his brothers quarreled. He just couldn't take it anymore. At least when don was there, he had support to keep the peace between the brothers, and usually he could take it easy and let don handle the peace keeping thing. But that wasn't the case anymore. Never again. Finding Don now is all just wishful thinking. The only people who haven't given up yet are probably Casey and Master Splinter. But even then, all their fruitless searches already seem to be taking a toll on their resolve.

Speaking of which, Master Splinter wasn't getting any younger either. they're father was old now, and as hard as it is to admit, he knew he didn't have all that much time left in this world. Mikey frowned at that thought. He wondered how that loss, on top of Donny's would affect his family. Things were already bad as it is.

Mikey suddenly heard a ringing in his ear. 'Silence can do that to you sometimes', he thought with a shrug. As the ringing went on and on, mikey raised his head and looked about. 'wait… that's not just me.'

It was the lair's intruder alert.

Mikey jumped off the couch and winced as it made a loud groan. 'great… just gave off my location.'

Looking about warily in the dim light from the television, 'good thing I put the damn thing on mute.' He thought as he glanced at it cautiously. Mikey crept along the walls silently all the while gripping his nunchuks tightly in his fists. He met eye contact with Master Splinter who had somehow slipped out of his room and gave a nod.

as he inched along the wall, he could hear a grunting sound and a strangled sob from the big dark lump that stumbled in through the lair's entrance.

"mi-mikey…" the dark figure gasped out as he collapsed under the weight of two other figures leaning onto him.

"Leo?!" Mikey screamed out as he recognized the stranger's voice. Splinter quickly turned on the lights with a flick of his tail and joined his son by Leonardo's side.

"Oh my god… Leo, Raph, Casey!" Mikey exclaimed as he took in the sight before him. Blood was everywhere, and right in the middle of it all were his brothers and Casey.

Leo swayed on his spot and knees giving away, knelt on the floor, arms limp around Casey and Raph. He drew in a ragged breath before everything went black.

--------------------

"leo…" Raph whispered roughly as Leo fell onto the floor unconscious, his arms around Raph and casey dragging him down with him. With a light splash, he slid forward onto the puddle of blood pooling around their bodies. There was so much blood.

Casey's blood.

Raph tiredly shrugged off Leo's arm and reached out for his friend. "c-casey…" he whispered, his voice breaking. A large lump started to form in his throat as he desperately tried to crawl over to Casey's side. His whole body ached with the effort, but he just couldn't reach him. With a shaky hand, he tried to reach out to touch that dark blood matted hair over his unconscious brother's back. "no…" he cried out painfully, tears obscuring his vision.

A warm furry hand had grasped his shaking hand and pulled him into his lap. In the comfort of his father's embrace, tears freely poured from his eyes and broke down in sobs. Something he hadn't done since he can't even remember when.

"Master Splinter! He's dead… he's dead! Casey's dead!" Raph cried out brokenly. Splinter simply held his son closer, as he himself felt hot tears roll down his furry cheeks.

Raph wept loudly, he and Casey were led right into a trap as they followed this particularly suspicious evasive pack of purple dragons that night. The next thing they knew, foot ninja had them surrounded with the shredder leading them. Tired out by the chase, it didn't take long for the foot to bring the turtle and human down. In the dim light of the waxing moon, he could see the shredder pick casey up off the ground.

Raph wanted to bite off the damn man's head off but met resistance as he struggled against several foot ninja holding him down. He growled at his own weakness but he smirked smugly at the ninja surrounding him, but was quickly wiped off his face as the shredder struck casey suddenly through the chest with his gauntlet. Blood had splattered raph's face but he just couldn't find the strength to wipe it off. what more, move, as the shredder made a grab for raphael's neck.

At that point in time, Leo had come in like a flash of lightning, impaling their foe's arm upon his katana. But Raph barley registered Leo's sudden appearance as he stared blankly at Casey's unmoving body. His heartbeat was so loud in his ears, prevailing over all other sounds. It was so loud, his heart's beating. His heart was beating. Casey's wasn't. and at that, Raph almost felt his heart stop as well. he was dead.

Suddenly a pain filled cry filled the air as Leo fell to his own sword. There, on his side, was a gaping six inch long gash from the blue decked katana in the Shredder's hand. The sight of which rousing Raph out of his trance like state.

Blinding rage filled him and with a loud cry, he threw his sai at the shredder with all his might. It pierced right through the dark armor and skewered the shredder's shoulder throwing him off balance for a second or two. Using this to his advantage, Raph jumped up and slashed at his foe's head, all the while roughly pulling out his sai from the shredder's shoulder. He stabbed him once again on the chest before kicking off his chest landing on his feet with a cat like grace. With a dark glare directed at the turtle, the shredder called his elite guard to him. And with that, they left.

Raph huddled further into his father's lap and shuddered as he remembered Casey. He was dead now. No more nightly vigilante fun. No more trash talking contests. He had lost a friend and a brother that night. No more casey. He closed his eyes, letting sweet slumber take its hold over him.

END FLASHBACK

"what's it to you?! Huh?!" screamed Mikey.

"why would you care you bastard?!" years worth of unshed tears finally sliding down the sides of his face. "how could you just leave us like that?!" he cried.

"how could you…" the force of his sobs sending him down to his knees. Arms encircled his cold body in a strong yet gentle and warm embrace. He sobbed openly now, into that warm body. It's been so long since he had felt such comfort. Too long. He cried for many things. He cried for those who have passed away in their line of duty, he cried for his home now rubble and dirt. And lastly he cried for himself and his family, broken in body and in mind.

"why… why… why did they have to die…" he whispered brokenly into Don's plastron.

Don flinched at what Mikey had just said. Died. Somebody died.

"w-who? Mike… who died?" don asked, voice trembling.

Mike looked up into his eyes and simply asked once again, "why?" but quickly looked away. And added in a soft voice, almost inaudible, "why did you come back…"

Donny's heart broke at the sight of his youngest brother looking so distraught. Even at this age, he just had this air or innocence that not even the shredder could completely destroy. Don almost smiled, 'that's Mikey for you', he thought pulling him even closer into his body.

"I-… mike." Don started with a stutter.

"mike, I'm sorry… the thing is, the truth is… I might not be your Donatello."

Brows furrowed in confusion, mikey looked up into his brother's eyes again.

"it's… a long story. I don't know if this happened in your dimension too, but the daimyo's son and drako had somehow merged into one being." Donatello went on, to his relief he could see a hint of recognition in mikey's eyes.

"so, the last thing I remember is drako swinging the daimyo's septer they had most likely stolen. And considering that WAS the daimyo's septer, well… it's not entirely impossible."

Silence filled the air as don finished his story. As the silence stretched even further, Doatello's grip on michelangelo's shell got tighter and tighter.

"I… I'm sorry mikey…"

"no." mikey said looking away.

Don gulped back down the saliva and bile that was pooling in his mouth. "I-…"

"no… Donny… don't say sorry, I don't care." Mikey butted in burying his head into donny's chest.

"I don't care. You're here donny, you're really here, you came back," mikey rambled on, his voice slightly muffled as he whispered into don's plastron.

"I'll never let you go." He tightened his hold around don's shell.

"never again."

--------------------

Right… that was one veeeeeeeeeery long flashback. Well, that's the first of many other flashbacks to come. Fufufu. Actually, this chapter came out longer than I expected. Hmmm.

Sorry, the last part was a bit crappy, I was really sleepy back then and I just didn't care, I just wanted to finish the damn chapter. it was getting too long. Hehe!

So there.

Review please! and no flames please... if you can help it! J

it kinda kills off my very tiny and incompetent muse. hohoho.

Constructive criticism is welcome though!


End file.
